A couple of Christmases ago, one of their members, Walter Chase, came up with a song that poked fun at the commercialization of Christmas...using the French Can-Can tune. Thus, The Christmas Can-Can. Then, just recently, the group came up with another: various music from The Nutcracker, with lyrics that tell the tale of a poor guy who just wants to watch football on a wintry Saturday afternoon...but his wife drags him with her to watch the classic Christmas ballet.
So grab a cup of hot chocolate and sit down and enjoy...Straight No Chaser. (I've included the lyrics, because believe me, the words go by so fast, you need them!)
The 12 Days of Christmas
On the first day of Christmas,
my true love gave to me
A partridge in a pear tree.
On the second day of Christmas,
my true love gave to me
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree.
On the fourth day of Christmas,
On the third day of Christmas,
my true love gave to me
Five golden rings,
Four calling birds,
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree.
On the ninth day of Christmas,
On the eighth day of Christmas,
Nine ladies dancing,
My true love gave to me
Eight maids a-milking,
Seven swans a-swimming,
Six geese a-laying
You better not shout
You better not cry
You better not in a pear tree
On the ninth (NO)
On the eighth (NO)
On the seventh day of Christmas
Deck the halls with boughs of holly
(My true love gave to me)
Here we come a wassailing among the leaves so green
(Seven swans a-swimming,)
(Six geese a-laying,)
Five golden rings
Four calling birds
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,
(Here we come a wassailing among the leaves so green)
The boars head in hand bear I be decked with bays
And Partridge in a pear tree
On the eleventh day of Christmas,
my true love gave to me
Eleven pipers piping,
Ten lords a-leaping,
Nine ladies dancing,
Eight maids a-milking,
Seven swans a-swimming,
Six geese a-laying,
Five golden rings,
Four calling birds,
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,
And Rudolf the red nose reindeer
On the 12th day of Christmas
I have a little dreidel
I made it out of clay and when it’s dry and ready
Oh dreidel I shall play
Oh dreidel dreidel dreidel…
On the 12th day of Christmas
do do do do do do
On the 12th day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Twelve drummers drumming like Olympus above the Serengeti,
Eleven pipers piping,
Ten lords a-leaping,
Nine ladies dancing they were dancing for me,
Eight maids a-milking they were milking just for me,
I had Christmas down in Africa (5x)
(Five golden rings) (3x)
Gonna deck the halls and do the things we never had
Do do do do do do
Partridge in a big tree
Partridge in a big tree
The Christmas Can-Can
Christmas, Christmas time is here
And Christmas songs you love to hear.
Thoughts of joy and hope and cheer
But mostly shopping, shopping, shopping!
Christmas, Christmas time is here
The sleigh bells and the red nose deer.
Song and songs we love to hear
All played a thousand times each year.
Heard this same song twenty times
And it’s only Halloween!
(Joy To The World)
(I saw three ships come sailing in on Christmas Day on Christmas Day)
Christmas, Christmas time is here
(Hark The Herald Angels Sing)
And Christmas songs you love to hear
(Joy To The World)
Thoughts of joy and hope and cheer
But mostly shopping, shopping, shopping!
Christmas season, starting sooner every year!
It’s October!
Stores with plastic Christmas trees!
Ransack the mall!
Shopping till you loose your mind!
Spike the eggnog!
Sit back and watch Rudolph, Frosty, Tiny Tim, and Scrooge, the Grinch or Charlie Brown
It’s time!
(hey)
It’s time to do the Christmas Can-Can
If you can’t can’t dance
Well that’s’ ok!
Not going to do the kick line!
All you need is a tree, some lights
presents wrap them up and pray for snow!
(Ho!)
Run to your closet,
Find your Christmas sweater,
Screaming carols all the way!
(fa la la la la la)
Maine all the way to California,
It’s the Christmas Can-Can,
Halloween to Christmas Day!
It’s the most wonderful time of year,
We’re running mad with Christmas cheer!
(Hey what’s the trouble with you my friend?)
It’s not fair if you’re Jewish, Jewish.
Not fair if you’re Jewish, Jewish.
Dradle, dradle dradle
I made it out of clay!
You realize that Christmas ain’t the only holiday!
(oy)
Hey he’s right, who made these laws?
Look! Wait here comes Santa Claus!
Santa Claus! Santa Claus! Santa Claus! Santa Claus!
Santa, Santa, Santa, Santa,
Santa, Santa, Santa, Santa!
GUYS!
Hey Santa do the can-can,
Help them if you can-can,
Join in the parade!
(I’m gonna go grab some Chinese food.)
All you need is tree, some lights, about a thousand
presents wrap them up and pray for snow!
(Ho!)
Run to your closet,
Find your Christmas sweater,
Screaming carols all the way!
(fa la la la la la)
France all the way to Indiana,
It’s the Christmas Can-Can,
That’s the end!
WAIT!
For our ending we should share this holiday
hava nagila…Happy Hanukkah to you,
a happy Hanukkah to you,
a happy Hanukkah to you,
A Merry Christmas, Hanukkah,
and also Kwanzaa!
A Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah
And Merry Kwanzaa too!
(ho)
The Nutcracker
Hooray it’s Christmastime
But there’s one lousy tradition
There’s a certain show that we will see
That is old and many would agree
It is time to find another show to substitute for the Nutcracker
I’m watching the game but something’s wrong
Staring is my wife her face looks long
I know that look it must be me
It’s not our anniversary
I shrug, no clue.
“What did I do?”
She stands in disbelief
WHAT?
This holiday scene brings no laughter
Forced going to see the Nutcracker
I tried to block it from my mind
Think fast! What reason can I find?
Got work to do
I’ll fake the flu
No chance, I’m done, I’m screwed
NO!
I’ve seen the Nutcracker twenty times.
Sure it is fun if you are four.
BUM!
Don’t call me a Scrooge cause it’s a bore.
The story’s dated and that mouse-king-thing freaks me out!
Well, guess I’m a guy what can I say
I’d rather watch football than ballet
I try my hardest not to grown
And pull the score up on my phone
As I complain,
“It’s not the same.”
We’re rushing out the door
GO!
All holiday shoppers on the road
My holiday spirit might explode
Of course there is no place to park
We’re late the theater’s in the dark
In no small feat
We find a seat
The show’s about to start.
SHH!
Here’s that song from Tetris
And I know it’s the part when I fight
Not to fall asleep
March the wooden soldiers
Bunch of mice start a fight
Land of sweets
Man this stuff’s trippy.
By the way this story makes no sense
Still don’t know
What it means
After all these years
So confusing
Feel like snoozing
Eyes are heavy
As I start to dream…
Whoa I’m awake must’ve fallen asleep guess I didn’t snore or make a peep
Cause my wife had no clue I’d been out-cold
Is the finale coming up because there is no beer left in my cup
To make it through I’ll need another drink
Snuck out to the lobby
Oh look I found a TV
I forgot the game was happening
It’s down to the wire
Time will soon expire
Down by one this kick would win it
HUT-HUT!
The ball’s snapped
OH NO!
The kick’s bad
RIGHT RIGHT!
No, we lost!
NO!
How could this night get any worse?
Now I’m feeling all depressed
But I still have to act impressed
A pirouette oh wow that’s great a six year-old could do that too
Saw my team lose at the bar
Now dancing dudes in leotards
Last Nutcracker hopefully
But my wife’s thinking differently
She leans in closely, whispers softly
Can’t wait for you to take me next year.
For the love of music (and, obviously, acapella singing!),
Rebekah
